Picking Up the Pieces
by chibixbakura
Summary: After the third wizarding war, Albus Potter is trying to rebuild his life and figure out how he's ended up at Saint Mungo's Hospital for so long.


Picking up the Pieces

Chapter one

No matter how long he had been trapped in this room, he never got used to it. It always seemed so foreign, so unreal that he was trapped here by more than just the doctors that were trying to help him. It was just four white walls, the same uncomfortable bed, the same desk he never used, the same bathroom, but everything just felt distant and cold. He couldn't even say how long he had been here anymore. All the days blurred together and he had trouble keeping everything straight. It felt like it hadn't been long since he was able to handle doctors actually in the room with him, and even closer to the present that he would let James in here as often as his brother could be. Big events like those stuck in his head, but he couldn't remember exactly when they happened. It wasn't that it mattered all that much anyway. He had been trapped here since everything happened, and maybe it was better that the days all blurred together.

Even with the doctors in the room, it wasn't as though he talked with them any. The only person he would talk to at all was James, and even then it wasn't often. He just didn't see the point in any of it. It wasn't as though he didn't want to get better, but he was just afraid. How could he trust anyone to help him after everything that happened? How could he trust people not to hurt him, trust them to actually help him? He couldn't. No matter how many times James told him he would never be hurt like that again, he didn't believe him. He had been hurt over and over again. How could James be so sure that it wouldn't happen again? Everyone he cared about hurt him. If he couldn't even trust the people closest to him to keep him safe, how was he supposed to trust doctors? Even the one person he thought would never hurt him, who promised to protect him, ending up hurting him. How was he supposed to trust anyone? It surprised him that he actually had some level of trust for James.

Albus, or Severus as he choose to go by since his first year at Hogwarts, sat in the corner of his room, just staring at the door. He had a window in his room, but he rarely looked out of it. Even with how bad things were inside this place, this hospital, the outside world was worse. Severus didn't want to be around people. He didn't want to be around anyone. It was safer if he was alone. No one could hurt him that way. No one could do anything to him if he was all alone. At least it was safe in these four, cold, white walls. As long as the doctors left him alone, what they did for the most part since he freaked out if they got too close to him, he was fine.

He didn't used to be like this. Everything used to be so much better. It was hard to think of where everything went wrong. No. It wasn't hard to think about all the times that slowly ate away at him. All the times that destroyed another little part of him that he would never get back. Those events were clear in his mind, almost as a warning as to why he shouldn't trust people. An alarm bell at why things would never be okay. After all, he had so much time to think when he was in here. He did little else actually. Some of that was starting to blur together too, and he sometimes had trouble figuring out if events happened close to each other or further away. Even some of the events themselves he questioned if they actually happened. Maybe he just didn't want to remember everything that happened. It might be safer if he didn't. James said it might be helpful if he tried to think of the good things that happened, and not so much about all of the bad things. It was just hard to not replay the horrible things that happened over and over in his mind. It wasn't as though he wanted to think about them, but those thoughts just came to him. It was almost as if he were trapped in his own mind with his own memories that he wished would just leave him alone. If he kept doing that though, it wouldn't help him get any better, at least according to James.

What did James know? He wasn't a doctor, though he might be talking with them, he was just a professional quidditch player now. Of course, Severus only knew that because James would talk about his life when Severus wouldn't talk, what was most of the time. He knew about James' whole life since he had started to come here. He knew about the family James was starting. He knew about how hard James worked while he was playing quidditch to win, and that his team was currently number one. He knew about other people's lives too. He knew his father hadn't been the same since the war ended. He knew Lily was getting married soon. He knew about his cousin's lives too. Rose was already married, and Hugo would be soon it seemed. A lot of his cousins were getting married and trying to move on with their lives it seemed. Still, Severus was trapped in this room as the rest of the world moved on. James would just talk about whatever came to his mind when Severus wouldn't talk. James also told him about his friends. James had a lot of them, but it seemed a good number had gotten killed or hurt in the war, some of them had even ended up in prison for what they did during the war. Severus didn't care as much about listening to James talk about his friends, but he still listened. Severus always listened when James talked.

James loved talking about quidditch though. He would always go on and on about how good he was at the sport, and he was reason they kept winning, after all he was the seeker. A lot of James' friends were on the quidditch team back at Hogwarts, but James had been in Gryffindor and he had been in Slytherin. Severus never got along all that well with any of James' friends. Even the first time he met them all it was bad. Maybe that was when his life started to go down hill. His life was still good and carefree before he started at Hogwarts. It wasn't as though he could avoid school, or go back and convince himself that going to Hogwarts was a horrible idea. Who would have thought the simple act of going to school sent him on the path here. It was James' fault. Maybe things would have been different if he had actually had a better time on that train to Hogwarts…

_Albus was excited. He was starting Hogwarts this year. Lily was so jealous! They had both grown up hearing their father's stories about Hogwarts and then all of James' stories over the summer. He was nervous about ending up in Slytherin, but his father said the sorting hat took your wants into his final choice of where you ended up. If he didn't want to end up in Slytherin he wouldn't. He wanted to end up in Gryffindor like James and his parents and all of his uncles. Gryffindor was the house to be in. He wasn't smart enough to end up in Ravenclaw like Victorie was, and he didn't think he'd end up in Hufflepuff. Slytherin was just out of the question, so they only left Gryffindor. _

"_Come on Albus," James said with a smile. He grabbed onto Albus' hand as soon as the train started to move and pulled him away from the people he had been talking too. He had been in the same cart with Rose and some of his other cousins, but James had other ideas of where they would spend the train ride. From how tightly James was holding onto him as he pulled him along, Albus knew that his brother wasn't letting go of him. James had made friends with all of the Gryffindor Quidditch team, even though he wasn't on the team yet, so that was where Albus was guessing James was taking him. James felt so sure he would make the team this year, even though he was only a second year. That was James. He always felt he would be great at things, and this was just another thing that he could be great at. He would always say that their father got on the team his first year, so nothing should be in his way in getting in the second year._

_Once they were in one of the biggest compartments, Albus saw a group of kids he guessed where the Gryffindor Quidditch team. "James! So, is this your little brother?" One of the girls asked. She had long brown hair, light skin, and bright blue eyes. She looked a little frail to be on the team, mostly like sticks because she was so small. She was a chaser on the team._

"_Holly! Yeah, this is my little brother Albus. I'm sure he's going to get into Gryffindor this year," James said with a smile. "I'll introduce you to everyone"_

_Asher was the same age as Holly, what Albus only knew as older than James possibly two years or so. He had short brown hair and was built much more like a quidditch player, much more than Holly did. He had a bit darker skin, but Albus was guessing it was because of a tan and not because he had actually darker skin than Holly did. He was a chaser on the team. _

_Lloyd looked over than Asher. He had blond hair just a little longer than Asher's. He was skinnier than Asher was, but he still looked like he was built for quidditch. He had lighter skin, and dark green eyes. He was one of the last chaser on the team._

_Melinda was small, but she wasn't skinny like Holly was. She had a good sports body. She wasn't on the team, but she was same age as James. She had quickly pulled him over to her the moment he came into the room. She had long brown hair and brown eyes._

_Then where was David. David was one of the oldest of James' friends. He had short brown hair and he just looked like one of those tough guys that you would just peg him as a bad person. The look he gave him when he got there gave him a shutter. _Severus wondered if he had always seen David that way or if it was the only way he could see him now, even thinking back then. _He just looked at him and went right to talking with James._

_Albus was mostly ignored through a big chunk of the train ride. He was fine with that, only he wished he were either making new friends or spending time with his other family remembers, but he guessed this wasn't so bad. He wasn't close with James and he felt that maybe if he was nice to James' friends they could be closer. James walked over to him. "So, Albus, you think it's going to be cool when I'm on the quidditch team this year?"_

_Albus knew what he should say, but he couldn't make himself lie about it. "I don't think you should be so confident about getting on the team before you're actually on it. You're still only a second year. It would make sense if you didn't get on. If the captain is a good captain then he won't put you on the team unless you're good enough, even if he is one of your friends." _

_James just stood there a moment, before his eyes grew harsher. "What, you don't think I'm good enough to make the team?"_

_Albus noticed all of James' friends had stopped talking and where staring at them. "That's not what I said. I said you shouldn't be over confident. It will hurt less if you don't make the team, what would be understandable if you didn't." _

_James shoved him against the wall. "Look. I'm sure I'm going to make the team this year. Would it hurt to have a little faith in my ability to do something?"_

_Albus didn't want to stay here. He wanted to leave. If he stayed here, things would only get worse. Albus pulled away from James, who grabbed his shirt and ripped it as he tried to get away. "James stop it," Albus said. "I'm leaving."_

_James looked like he was going to do something else, but was grabbed by Melinda and calmed down. _

_Albus ran out of the compartment and into the first one he saw that he thought was empty. Getting inside he saw…_

Severus shook his head. That compartment wasn't empty. He saw met _him _that day. The person he knew James blamed for everything. Even if those events were the catalyst that started everything, even if meeting the man who would become his best friend was the cause for him being here now, Severus couldn't make himself regret it. At the time, he had been so angry at James. Maybe he was thankful now though. If James hadn't done that he would have never met the person that changed his life.

He wondered if James was going to show up today. No, he wouldn't. James had a game today. That fight was stupid they had that day, James had gotten seeker that year and was still playing till this day. James would always be second best at school though, but he didn't want to think about James and his quidditch skills. Not right now. All those people, James' friends, there was only one of them that was still healthy and happy right now. Well, maybe two that were happy, but only one that was still doing okay. It wasn't as though his own friends had a better track record. Friends…

Severus didn't want to think about that right now. He didn't want to think about anything. James told him he'd have to deal with things sooner or later, and the longer he waited the longer he would be trapped here. He didn't want to deal with things that happened. Couldn't the world just leave him alone? It would be nice, but it wasn't going to happen.

Why did he even need to try and remember what happened? James told him both he needed to deal with it and that he should try to only think on the positive things. He needed to make up his mind, tell him what to do. He couldn't do both. He couldn't do anything.

James… Severus was glad their relationship had gotten better, even if that wasn't the only time he hated James. James was on the list of people who had hurt him. James was high on that list, but he more than made up for it.

"_Albus, you have to listen to me. You can't stay here," James grabbed his arm. _

"_James, let me go. I don't know why you're here but you need to go," Severus said, trying to pull his arm away._

"_Listen to me. Mom's dead. She was killed here. Killed trying to get you out of his place. I'm not leaving without you. You have to see what's going on here. Albus, everyone here might as well be death eaters and I know you're not evil. You have to come now so I can save you," James was nearly pleading with him._

"_You're lying! No one here is evil. All I'm trying to do is be out here with my friend and.. And I'm sure you're lying about mom getting killed. N-no one here would kill her."_

"_I'm not lying." James started to pull him out of the room. "Rose is here. She has a portkey. She's going to take you and Lily home."_

"_Why is Lily here?" Severus asked, still fighting against James. He took out his wand and pointed it at James. "Stop it now or I'll-"_

"_You won't hurt me. Just trust me. If everything is how you think it is then-" James cursed as they both heard people coming. "Then you can come right back here, promise. Just do this for me. Okay?" James kept looking back at where the sound was coming from. James kept grabbing him back to Rose. Lily looked just horrified. She was clinging to Rose and crying. Severus tensed seeing her. "Go, take Rose's hand and get out of here. I'll buy you all some time."_

"_James-"Rose started._

"_Rose, go! Get out of here before we're all caught!" James yelled. Severus was still too shocked at seeing Lily like that to stop Rose from grabbing him. The next thing he knew they were back at his father's house and-_

_Severus shuttered. Why did he remember that? It was one of those things. Those events that he tried to forget that happened right after that. He didn't believe James. He hadn't believed James until far after that happened. He didn't know James was telling the truth until much, much too late. He didn't know how much James was willing to give up to protect him. He wished he did. If he knew what he knew now… _

_Severus looked down. He didn't want to think about any of that. He didn't want to deal with any of that. He just wanted to sit here and not think. Of course, the only thing to do here was think. _


End file.
